#tbh i should make a tag for like. more personal posts. but. idk what to make the tag name..
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me realizing i havent ever posted my initial designs for tox and leo/ive stopped talked about ttos as a whole:
#that have yet to be or are already mentioned in the story#idk lmao not too many ideas for it after my initialization#like should i turn it into a fic? probably#im just so awful with long term motivation/completion of fics i can never write anything longer than drabbles#and by that i mean i can write PARAGRAPHS upon paragraphs but those are literally just certain specific scenes within a whole story#i think i would gen burnout trying to write it bc i would spend HOURS writing a few paragraphs and be like 0.5% done with the fic as a whol#bc im just nitpicking every paragraph to be as specific and detailed as possible bc; as i like to say; im a maximalist in writing#not only do i suck at zooming out bc i get too invested on a small part of it; but also generalizing as a whole for that matter#bc my writing style (ego) cant suck it up and write a less detailed and non obscure/not referencing 6 other things paragraph- /hj#less detailed non arbitrary not obscure and not referencing 6 other things#this is literally my toxic trait which is really unfortunate bc i'd like to turn this into an actual fic i just know it would be REALLY lon#which is something i personally find hard to read at sometimes- like pen's fics are a good length but theyre not more than one chapter#and i'd have like 6 million or something- /hj#ALSO THIS?? WHAT IM DOING IN TAGS RN??? being so damn repetitive only to say the same thing over and over again-#ik you guys dont mind but its really hard to make long term projects/writing pieces with this writing style/toxic trait /gen#oh well.. maybe one day ill turn one of my 70 aus into a fic fr.. if we dont get outed first.. /hj /srs#(also me when my au masterlist has been rotting in my drafts since like a week after i first made this acc- /gen) (its never getting posted#i havent even told you guys half of them tbh- /gen#pc rpf community#pc rpf#rpf#the taste of sugar#toxleo
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feel like the global tasks sweep strat should probably be nerfed somehow. my thought would be, give each team an individual ten minute overall cooldown on global task claims. that is to say, a certain team can only claim one global task per ten minutes. say, deliver gas masks, and then in ten minutes you're allowed to deliver tea, and then after another ten minutes you can claim hot chocolate.
another teams would be able to claim a global task for bananas during this time, and their own ten minute cooldown would start.
(the global tasks can either keep their individual ten minute cooldown [i.e. after tea is claimed no one else can claim tea for ten minutes] or a slightly shorter cooldown, say 5-7 minutes)
when a global task is claimed, everyone is notified, right? if not, in my hypothetical, they will be.
then, a team trying to sweep six tasks at once would actually take sixty minutes to do, allowing another team to swoop in and have a chance to stop it in cinematic, entertaining fashion rather than tubbo having to grind resources and then log out in front of the merchant to counter this, which is boring for everyone (including the person delivering). plus, if a team cuts it down to the last second and ends up getting delayed, they physically wouldn't have time to make a delivery, meaning even being a BIT of a nuisance could be a viable strategy, even if you can't manage to kill; if you can STALL you could still wreck their plans.
that's my dream anyway idk i'm not a game designer. just think it would be interesting for most players
(i elaborate under)
red team would have to shake up their strategies, which is fun since they're a team that kinda has to rely more on strategy than outright brawn (overall the team's pvp can't be relied on unless they have carre or phil, as seen today when pierre, bad, and etoiles attacked phil cellbit foolish and baghera, and cellbit and foolish both died to etoiles in the attack, despite it being a 4 on 1 at the time. baghera was killed by bad soon after. phil was the one to get the kills. the first day, when blue attacked [niki, tubbo, and bad as i recall] carre got both kills)
the other teams would then still have a way to stop a global sweep since a sweep would have to start earlier, allowing not only more time to arrive at global to pvp about it, but ALSO allowing another team to swoop in and steal the goal out from under the team again
i'm gonna use it in a scenario bc i'm badboyhalo and i can't stop myself from making examples:
so, tonight, if the proposed cooldown was in place, bad and tubbo would both still had roughly 17 minutes when red team would have HAD to start the sweep process if they wanted all six global tasks: 1 hour until the server closed at absolute MINIMUM. more for safety's sake.
therefore, in this scenario, there's a lot to happen
blue team could wait at globals, knowing red will probably try this strategy, and attempt or perhaps SUCCEED in killing red. if they kill red entirely, the operation is a wash; red doesn't have to gear to come back from scratch and take out blue team, and even if they could, the travel time to return to globals alone would mean they wouldn't get all the global tasks, potentially meaning they don't take the lead. if blue team is unable to kill red and dies themselves or has to retreat, but succeeds in delaying red, red would face the same problem.
if red sends in all of the task items on one person, and that person dies, even if the rest survived, blue could loot the items from that person and would be able to either use the items themselves, if green is currently the owner, or could run away with the items, effectively wasting red's time and again, meaning they wouldn't get all tasks claimed even if they were able to overtake the runner and reclaim their items.
i'm unclear what would happen if red divided the task items between them since it seems like the person claiming the task doesn't have to have all (or any? again, unclear) the items in THEIR inventory in order to claim so long as a teammate is nearby with the items in their inv (evidence: pac's vod "voltei... o que tá acontecendo no QSMP?!" at roughly 3:00:00; tubbo claims tea and tea is taken out of pac's inventory. i don't know the limits of this strategy)
blue team also has time to swoop in and steal a global task out from under red during this time. say, if red team had claimed the task for 10 tea leaves, upping the price to 15 tea leaves, and then blue team snuck in and claimed the task and set the price up to 20 tea leaves, (since the proposed 10 minute cooldown on claims would be TEAM LIMITED; red's cooldown applying to red only and so on). if red waited until the last second, they wouldn't have the time to reclaim this task even if they did have the resources, possibly forcing them to start their sweep earlier to counter this possibility, at which point team members who had logged on earlier and are out of time by the end of the night, OR members who live in time zones that don't allow them to stay up until server close, may have an easier shot at participating in defending against a global sweep.
all of this DIRECT CONFLICT would make for good audience entertainment and heighten the stakes of an attempted global sweep, since it would practically have to be one team defending globals for an hour while they pipe all their resources into it, knowing that if they die another team could easily swipe their task resources and use it themselves (along with the rest of their gear). it makes it more interesting, while still mostly viable.
plus it would force more strategizing for red team which is maybe just a personal plus, i just really like seeing people planning both in advance and in spur of the moment. it's really satisfying to see how a plan comes together and succeeds or fails; plus, since red team is the main team using this strategy at the moment and their main draw and strength as a team is cohesion and communication this would be completely fucking riveting for me as a viewer so maybe this is just a personal thing. but i really really think it would be fun
but again, i'm not a game designer, or a qsmp player, or a qsmp admin, or honestly even really a gamer? so maybe i'm off my rocker and out of my gourd and this isn't viable or balanced in any way shape or form but YKNOW what is this blog except putting stupid thoughts into the void and seeing if this time the void spits back hate mail so. i'm folding this into a paper airplane and throwing it into the abyss. hopefully it made sense.
k love you appreciate you getting this far, have a good week!!
(i hope your team gets a win in dramatic fashion and celebrates together!!! i hope they come together and unleash a plan so spectacular it takes the server by storm!!! i hope it's so good it becomes a vod you go back to even years in the future!!!! i hope you have a good week!!!!!)
#qsmp#qsmp purgatory#shut up vic#block game brainrot#yes it's long beneath the keep reading no i'm incapable of being succinct#i color coded the important parts though i just wanted to try to be clear#examples are my bread and butter i do programming and math they make everything easier for me to understand#god i hope this makes sense to other people i didn't ask my biological peer reviewer so idk if this is stupid or not#tbh it's just a tumblr post so i guess it's whatever if it is but i put wayyy more work than necessary into double checking timelines lol#(i didn't watch blue today sorry :/ idr if i mentioned in the body of the post but i main red team)#(their energy is just more entertaining for me personally; though i kept an eye on pac once i could multi-watch!)#anyway other team mains feel free to weigh in if i'm making weird assumptions about what the teams are capable of#heaven knows my pov is biased here LMFAO#((for what it's worth i am fully aware this means red team aren't rly underdogs anymore and i super want them to be kicked in the stomach))#((back to the drawing board; what will they do??? I WANT TO KNOW :O))#((seeing them crawling back to victory from being like two pixels on the bar on sunday was great. more of that pls))#idk i've rambled enough#long tags#ignoring daylight savings it's technically one am goodnight friends i hope this post doesn't suck hahahaha...............#OH AND IF ANYONE THINKS I SHOULD TAG SOMETHING FOR FILTER PURPOSES ABSOLUTELY LET ME KNOW#i want to be courteous but i think this post is pretty neutral in tone? but if you think it deserves a tag i will absolutely add it!!!!!
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it is always a little funny to me when people try to make psychologists and psychiatrists out to be the only people ever capable of being able to accurately diagnose mental illnesses and disorders and that their word is law as a way to criticize self diagnosis when like. once i was hospitalized and the psychiatrist there who i had not even known for more than a day tried to diagnose me as bipolar despite me having No history of mania because he.. couldn't really understand why i acted the way i did i guess???
#milgran't#tw hospital#tw psych ward#i just randomly remembered this (i say randomly as if i dont know exactly why im thinking about this stuff). dont mind me#tbh i should make a tag for like. more personal posts. but. idk what to make the tag name..#oh well#apologies for not being cool and collected and expressing things that show that im a human with emotions and needs recently#The Holidays are probably. one of the worst times of the year for me </3#its not even seasonal depression or whatever its just Oh Jesus Oh Fuck Oh God (gets hit by 99999 trauma bullets)#that psychiatrist sucked SOOOO fucking bad btw#trying to prematurely diagnose me as bipolar was one of the tamest things he did during my stay#i hate him i genuinely hope he dies <3#tbh i think he actually did. Break The Law with me. he probably couldve argued it was for the safety of others bc im crazy :3. but.#sometimes i just Remember That and im like. huh. hey what the fuck actually#but seriously. so many mental health professionals just make you sit there and go. .. how the FUCK did you get your license??????#ive heard some of The Most ''oh only people who are completely ignorant about mental health say this!'' type of shit from professionals#idk why im the one being labelled as insane when they think saying some of that shit is okay and professional MFKDLSFMDSf
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Well. I am alive. I guess. So theres that much.
#Oh god i have a lot to say#I might aswell post in tags huh?#Where do i even start.#Uhhh well. On my main acc a mutual of mine has been sending me anons (how do i know? Because theyre always sent after the like my posts)#A lot and idk how to feel about it. I mean i like it i think but. Talking to people is weird. I dont mind. To be honest this is probably li#Like healthy. To some degree. Still dk how to feel though#Had to do taxes. Holy hell does getting them done cost. I want to die. Taxes are disgusting. Fuck taxes.#Should get a refund though so thats good#(Pretend im great at reading and understanding taxes)#(This does not contradict anything ive said in the past noooooo)#(If you can figure this out; good job. Because most of what i say is stupid technically true wording but still stupid)#I talked to one of my friends (the one i mostly talk about because i may or may not have attachment issues)#And honestly. I feel alot better. Sorta. For the most part. Feeling much better#It was simple. No explanation. Just. Its okay.#BUT. How they started it off nearly gave me a heart attack! (Not elaborating but. Tbh it read/came off as sad.)#(In the way. Actually idk how to explain normally. Like it was. Almost like concern? Dk how to explain how i read it.)#Trying to make a bracelet. Its going poorly. But trying!#I feel so embarrassed bc. I am not immune to societal standards and embarrasment for breaking them.#But lately ive felt like im lacking something visually. And i used to wear chains (until it started turning my wrist green. Pain to wash of#To fill that. Then rings. And then nothing for personal issues. And now. I just need something more.#Dont get me wrong. I love my piercings. But i need something somewhere else to balance it. It feels off.#Anyways. Im gonna go cry about having to open a new thing because it means i have to spend more money on my addictons sooner
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stepdad!simon riley with his naive-but-cute stepdaughter 👼🏼
IMPORTANT: idk why but my analytics have been super bad as of late (maybe i'm not posting at the right times?) and my posts just aren't getting as much interaction as they usually do. it would be such a great help to lmk if there's anything that you particularly want to see on this blog/a previous post that you liked so i can be sure i'm writing stuff that people ACTUALLY like :)
warnings: taboo themes, porn with no plot tbh, unprotected sex, overstimulation etc, etc...
word count: 0.4k
mmmm just over here thinking about stepdad!simon riley who just fucks sooo good that neither of you can stop, no matter how wrong you think it is…
it all started when he came home from a long, gruelling day at work. it was just you home alone that evening, tucked up on the couch reading one of your books, totally engrossed as he came in and sat down a mere few metres away from you. his head leant back on the couch, a small sigh leaving his lips as his aching body rested properly for the first time in hours.
and you. you were just so sweet to him, so kind. making him dinner, ensuring that his clothes got washed, doing anything you could to make his life easier — basically a little housewife for him to look forward to when he got home.
prancing around doing menial chores in the kitchen, living room, your bedroom, in the tiniest little pyjamas known to man. not that he was looking, of course (yes he was).
looking so lovely for him, the cutest little pink panties on show for him when your mini skirt rode up as you “accidentally dropped something”. plush thighs that were practically begging him to grab them and pull them apart just so he could fuck you right there and then.
which he did do, one day, after a particularly stressful shift. he couldn’t restrain himself and then you showed up, sweet innocent thing. didn’t know what you were really getting into at all. so naive.
looking even more dumb and naive as he fucked you brainless on the same couch. you laid out all nice over the arm with your ass up, meeting every harsh thrust of his hips, his pelvis bruising your soft skin as he pounded his thick cock into your cunt. your incessant whines that just made him fuck you even harder, until the only noise you made were the uneven gasps that would fall from your mouth at every stroke of his length.
the warm, fuzzy feeling you’d get when he came inside you, feeling him speed up, seize up, and twitch slightly just before as you squeezed your walls around him. the way he would keep going even when you’d orgasmed, overstimulating you to the point of tears and then making you cum harder than you previously had just to prove a point (the point is that he is the only person who should be fucking you).
mmm.. yeah. so perfect.
Tag list 𖠋: @punkkture @slut-lmao @sebastianstans-slut @ilikeoldmen @g1rlfa1lure0 @queenoflaflames @tmartin0918 @kkloubee @goldie-221 @patricksoulmate @writingandsins @mxnee777 @bittersweetfig @mlthree @cupidswan @siphon07 @decaffeinateddelusionbread
#sigh#is this even going anywhere#pls help!!!#simon riley#cod men#tf 141#babylove#coquette#ghost cod#cod mw2#simon ghost riley#⋆˙⟡ 🎞️#⋆˙⟡ 🍰
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౨ৎ GOODBYE MY BRITISH SWEETHEART ౨ৎ
masterlist / rules / requests & talks with me!
SUMMARY౨ৎ Loving Lando is like how the Earth circles the sun. In absolute awe and admiration. But the Earth is slowly destroying itself in the presence of this star. The rays of this sun are burning away at this Earth’s ozone layer, maybe even going as far into this Earth’s core.
PAIRING ౨ৎ Lando Norris x Fem!Driver!Reader
FACE CLAIM ౨ৎ Amna Al Qubaisi
WARNINGS ౨ৎ fighting, misogyny (not by the grid or lando), reader is self conscious
A/N ౨ৎ God. Whenever I hear this song and think about Lando, all i think about is him and Luisiha. :( Again, I made this not in a SMAU format i’m used to. I decided to make the reader replace Daniel for the fic (I STILL LOVE HIM I PROMISE 😭😭)I hope you still like it! Tbh, I feel like I didn't do this request justice. If I have a chance some point in time, I might rewrite it.
1K EVENT MASTERLIST
1.3K words!
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f1 ✔︎
♡ liked by mclaren, maxverstappen1, oscarpiastri, and others
f1 Lando wins it in Miami, winning his first race! Congratulations! 👏
tagged ; landonorris
3,219 comments
username1 LANNNDOOOO
username2 lando has finally landed 🥹
username3 HE FINALLY DID IT!!
carlosainz55 ✔︎ congratulations cabrón! Welcome to the winners side 😉
→ landonorris ✔︎ glad to finally be part of the club 👊
maxverstappen1 ✔︎ lando nowins no more 👏
→ landonorris ✔︎ haha funny 😒
georgerussel63 ✔︎ congrats mate!!
username5 has anyone noticed that y/n hasen’t liked or commented? :(
→ username6 ik!! usually she is always the first or second person to do both whenever he gets podium…
username7 no because did anyone see how y/n was staring at Lando with his trophy??
→ username8 I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY ONE. → username9 she looked at him like he was ripping her heart out 🙁 → username10 I mean, y/n has been in f1 for what, 2 more years than him and still no win. I know it's just eating her up inside. → username11 I hope she gets her win soon and shuts up the misogynists. → username12 it sucks that the team did a absolute shit strategy when the safety car stopped her and made lando gain her stop.. but I’m still happy for him!!
y/n_l/n ✔︎
♡ liked by visacashapprb, yukitsunoda, sophiafloersch and others
y/n_l/n Miami ? Done ✅
tagged ; visacashapprb
2,350 comments
username13 she didn’t even post her podium photo :(
→ username14 if i were her i wouldn’t either.
username15 can she idk, be happy for lando?
→ username16 no way you are suggesting this girl be happy after she lost her chance to overtake lando because of the safety car, taking away what may be the second woman to win a f1 race next to Desiré Wilson, after years of misogyny, and men telling her she doesn’t have a place in motorport along with other women. → username17 god how i love you @ username16. SOMONE ACTUALLY USES THEIR BRAIN
visacashapprb ✔︎ wonderful work as per usual!
→ username18 for someone who has been in f1 for 8 years? hell no. → username19 someone is jelly → username20 they aren’t jealous they are just stating a fact 😂 → username21 the fact that they are saying how she should be winning stuff after 8 years? → username22 obviously. since she came she hasn’t won anything → username23 lance stroll, kevin magnussen, and nico hulkenburg are calling buddy and they are saying your misogyny is showing. 💀 → username24 LMAOOAOA YOU GO @ username23
TWITTER

In Person
Saying that the end of the race was a disappointment was an understatement. For the past eight years, it only felt like the world was out to get you.
The constant criticism, misogyny, the occasional car failures, Lance Stroll's grotesque driving skills, and now, Lando winning his first Grand Prix but with the cost of you losing your position due to a shitty strategy mistake. It's frustrating, to say the least.
Being in love with Lando has its ups and downs. And as of right now? A hard low. As his partner, you want to kiss him all over his sunkissed face, going over each birthmark with tenderness. Congratulate him. Tell him how proud you are of him for finally achieving what he has been aiming for years. Ruffle those chestnut curls that you love dearly as you both stand on the podium, covered in sticky champagne as the fizzy liquid cascades over you, creating a tingling sensation on your skin you both embrace, the rainbows of confetti dancing in the air to the ground, trophy in his hands.
Yet, as a driver, you despise him. That haunting smile that glances over now and then, that sterling silver trophy dazzling in the light, blinding you as if it were the shining teeth of someone laughingly mocking you. God, how you hated it.
After closing the door to the driver's room, you swiftly remove the carbon fiber helmet, peeling off the balaclava that clings to my face, leaving my hair matted against my skin. With a surge of frustration, you glance angrily at the helmet before flinging the helmet to the ground, the sound reverberating through the room. Your breathing quivers as you gaze at the floor before ultimately slumping against the wall adjacent to the door, back against it. Running a hand through your damp hair, you rub my temple, feeling the weight of the day's events.
How did you get to this point?
“Where in the world have you been, you muppet? You just up and left after the national anthems.” Lando's voice broke you out of your trance as he stood by the door, remembering you didn't lock the door. "I didn't even get to spray the champagne on you like usual." He adds with a frown.
"Not now, Lando." You stated looking down at your hands as you picked the skin around your nails to cope. His face still held a frown, yet he raised a brow at your tone.
"Not now?" He repeats, almost confused by your comment. "What's wrong? Talk to me."
"I said not now, Lando," You repeat, my voice growing more insistent. "I just need some space right now."
Lando's expression softens as he takes a step closer, concern evident in his eyes. "Hey, come on. You can talk to me. I know today didn't go as planned, but we can work through this together."
My frustration boils over, and I finally look up to meet his gaze. "You don't get it, do you? This could have been my chance. My chance to finally prove that I belong here. Actually- no, not me, but every woman. That we won't be not some- some girls here for some representation to make F1 seem better but to show that we belong here! That we are as good as men! And that shitty strategy screwed me over, and now it seems like I am a shit driver..." You snap in exasperation.
“I never tried to say that I understand.” Lando glared. His expression hardens, and he takes a step back, hurt evident in his eyes. "You know that's not true. You're an incredibly talented driver, and one bad race doesn't define you."
You scoff, feeling the weight of his words but unable to fully accept them. "Easy for you to say. This ‘one bad race’ has been multiple races. You've had your moment of glory today. You got the lavish celebration you’ve been wanting.“
You scoff, feeling the weight of his words but unable to fully accept them. "Easy for you to say. This ‘one bad race’ has been multiple races. You've had your moment of glory today. You got the lavish celebration you’ve been wanting.“
Lando shakes his head, his frustration creeping into his voice. "This isn't about me. It's about us! I want you to succeed just as much as I want to succeed. We’re a team, even if we are on other racing teams. But pushing me away and shutting me out won't solve anything. What’s with all this?“
“Don’t you get it, Lando?! You’re perfect now! You have fans who love you, you have a secure seat, and you have a win now Lando! All you need is a championship! You don’t have people telling you that you don’t belong here because you have talent. You have people who support you even when your team makes a stupid mistake and they still defend you! The second I do something wrong, even when it's team orders, I'm belittled and told to go back to do my "role" as a housewife! God, I can't even get time to be with my boyfriend or friends before getting screamed at by middle-aged men that I'm a 'grid fucker' and that I had sex to get to where I am!"
Lando’s face falls at your words, a mix of offense and hurt flashing in his eyes. “You think I don’t understand pressure? I get it, alright? I get that it’s different for you, and it’s unfair. But pushing everyone away, pushing me away, isn’t the answer.”
You stand up, your body tense with the weight of your frustration and sadness. “I’m not pushing you away, Lando. I’m trying to cope with the fact that no matter what I do, it’s never enough. And seeing you succeed, seeing everyone praise you, it just… it just makes it harder.”
Lando steps closer, his voice softer now. “I want to help you, but I can’t if you won’t let me in. We’re supposed to be in this together. Isn’t that what we promised each other?”
You look at him, your heart aching at the sight of his earnest expression. “It’s not that simple. I can’t keep pretending that everything’s okay when it’s not. And I can’t stand beside you, smiling, when I feel like I’m drowning.”
He reaches out to touch your arm, but you pull away. “Please, don’t. I need to find my way through this, Lando. And I can’t do that if I’m constantly comparing myself to you.”
Lando’s eyes widen with realization. “You’re breaking up with me.”
A lump forms in your throat, tears welling up. “Don't put it like that..” I start. Lando tries to talk but I beat him to it. "I'm... not necessarily breaking up with you. It's more of a... "Goodbye"."
"That's technically still breaking up with me," Lando mutters, a tiny, barely noticeable smile cracking through onto his lips at the light attempt at a joke to ease the growing tension. I let out a tearful giggle.
Lando’s smile crumples into a frown and he takes a shaky breath. “I love you. I don’t want to lose you.”
“You aren't losing me... I love you too,” you whisper, your voice breaking. “But right now, love isn’t enough. I need to stand on my own two feet, without always feeling like I’m in your shadow.”
He looks away, blinking rapidly, trying to hide the growing tears in his greenish-blue eyes. “This isn’t how I wanted today to end. I wanted today to be happy. For us both.”
“Neither did I,” you say softly, placing a hand on his cheek, moving his head to look at you while you skim your fingers over his birthmarks. “But sometimes, things don’t go as planned.”
There’s a long, painful silence between you, filled with all the things left unsaid. Finally, Lando nods, his eyes shining with unshed tears, leaning over to press a tender kiss onto your forehead.
“Goodbye, then,” Lando whispers.
In response, you bend forward, placing your lips against his own, kissing him softly, both our lips brushing lightly as if savoring the moment for what may be the last time experiencing such a feeling.
“Goodbye.” You replied, voice narrowly above a whisper.
𝐀/𝐍 2 : Ending tbh is kinda cringey but oh well it felt right in the moment 😫
#☆゚ user ↳ theyluvkarolina ◝#f1 x reader#formula 1#f1 fanfic#formula one x reader#f1 imagine#f1 smau#formula one x you#lando x reader#lando norris#lando norris x reader#lando norris fanfic#lando#f1 fandom#f1#f1 fic#formula one imagines#formula one scenarios#formula one imagine#formula 1 x reader#formula one#f1 angst
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Hello! I just wanted to say I stumbled across one of your posts and ended up looking through the trans tag in your blog for a while and idk it felt so so nice to see a middle aged trans guy just living life and being there for others who are at earlier points of their own trans related journeys, and I hope I can look as awesome as you and be as comfortable in my own skin and style and everything when I'm older.
I guess I also wanted to ask if you had any insight or advice about a couple things, if you're willing to share.. First thing is, did you ever struggle with passing but looking much younger than your age and that somewhat affecting your perception of yourself? I'm 28 and I started T 11 months ago (though at a pretty low dose because I wanted slow changes) and my face just recently started visibly shifting to a more masculine contour and I love it, but I still don't really look like a 28 year old guy.
I've always passed easily even before T but people think I'm like 18-21 max. Things were fine while I was in college (I came out at 19 so for a while my face just felt fitting enough and didn't make me feel either dysphoric or in a weird age limbo) but every year it feels more frustrating and makes me feel sort of alienated from myself including in mental ways, like I'm just a little kid who can't grow up. Like I'll never look like a "real guy" even though I can be stealth because I look like a weird teen and not like a grown up man. It's especially bad when I look at my amab younger siblings who are now also adults and see how I "should have looked" in some other life if I was cis. I guess maybe that's just another manifestation of dysphoria that I didn't have to deal with before? Did you ever experience something like that? And if yes did it get better after some years on T or how did you deal with it?
The other thing is just.. internalized transphobia. It's one thing to know things in a logical or intellectual sense but it's so hard to really feel and believe it sometimes and let go of all the awful transphobic stuff my family said to me during the first years of me being out. I just kept going anyway because I needed to be true to myself and my family basically bullying me wasn't gonna just magically change how I felt about my gender, but what it did do is put my already low confidence and self esteem (in this context regarding my gender) down on the floor. And sometimes I still just think and worry "what if they were right and I was wrong and I'll never be real and valid because of x y z", "what if I'm just delusional", "what if I'm a ridiculous freak". I know, in a way, that no I'm not. I'm just a trans person and they're just transphobes. But feelings like that just get to me sometimes and I don't really know what to do about them even nearly 10 years after coming out. Does that get better at some point? Just like you kinda stop giving a shit what people think about you in general as you get older? But how can you change those internalized views affecting what you think of yourself?
Bit nervous about asking this stuff tbh, so sorry it was so long also sorry if I worded any of it in a not so great way.
I will say though, that seeing older trans people like you does help a little bit. Just makes it feel like "hell yeah I wanna be like him when I grow up". So thank you for showing me that today ;u; (and also for inspiring me to put a little more thought and effort into my styling and fashion choices haha)
Heya, Anon! Let's see what I can cover here:
Looking young.
Oh my god, yes. I was getting carded to buy superglue and spray paint well into my late 30s (I started T at 33). When my partner first asked me out for a date, they were worried I wasn't old enough to drink yet (I was 36).
This is me 1 year on T, age 34.


Years 6 & 7 (ages 39 and 40), is when I feel I started looking older.


I feel like it's only been recently, 14 years in at 47, that I look in my 40s, and a "mature" adult. My beard finally getting full helped, as did my receding hairline. And I feel like my skin texture has toughened up enough, to where wrinkles show more.


That said, yes, it is tough and annoying to deal with. Even when people tell me I look like a particular cis man (where I actually see the resemblance, lol), when I look at us side-by-side, I feel like I'm just a pale shadow of him. I feel jealous and dysphoric, even while I'm flattered by the comparison. I wonder what I "should" look like, and it feels like something has been stolen from me. Its a roller coaster of emotions.
That feeling never really goes away, but you need to afford yourself some grace. You're going to be your own worst critic, and I guarantee you that, of many cis men you grew up with, you can probably still see the kid in them. So of course, you're going to see the kid in yourself.
But, you also just need to let time run its course. HRT is a marathon, and a lot of changes don't really settle for about 5 or 6 years.
I hate to say "enjoy it while you can" because I sure as hell bristled at being mistaken for a teenager or barely 20 when I was in my 30s. But do enjoy what you can of it. Because once you hit middle age, you're going to start dealing with a strange intersection of dysphoria and aging that I myself am still trying to navigate.
One other way I help myself get over negative feelings is to think of how differently my life would have been if I were cis. I honestly worry I would have been a worse person; even though being trans creates a lot of obstacles in my life, I feel like it's been a net gain: being able to know myself so well and help others learn about themselves.
Internalized transphobia
This got better for me with age. My epiphany was that, even over a decade into my transition, I was still softening myself for the benefit of friends and family. I was still using my gender-neutral birthname (I only recently changed it). I would call myself a "person", "guy", or "dude", instead of a "man". I dressed on the young and casual side, eschewing full-on masculine outfits like proper suits with ties.
I only recently pulled myself out of this. It still is a habit-in-progress to refer to myself as a man, even though I have always felt like one. And I've started to dress more vintage, not just because of hyper fixations, but because it's a way to lean into a presentation that is unequivocally, "this is a middle-aged man". And it's done a lot of good for my mental health.
What I'd suggest is to see if you are holding yourself back in any way wrt your gender presentation or how you talk/think about yourself. Give yourself full permission to acknowledge that you are a man, full stop. You're a young man, sure. But still a man, and a full-ass adult at that.
I hope some of this helps. Transition gives us a unique toolset for examining who we are and how we want to move through the world, and that work certainly doesn't end after finally getting on HRT. <3
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hi hi can i request a max verstappen x footballer smau but she plays for real madrid femenino and we know max is an fcb supporter (also for the sake of the smau, real madrid femenino can be just as good as barcelona femeni) and everyone going crazy when she just takes him to an award ceremony as her plus-one. no soft launch no hard launch and everyone including the grid and christian horner and madristas and everyone is shocked
MADRIDISTAS [MV1/33]
Max Verstappen x footballer!RealMadridFemenino!reader
Masterlist
Summary: Y/N is one of the biggest rising stars in women's football, playing for Real Madrid Femenino. When she's nominated by Women's Football Awards for the Player of the Year, the last thing anybody would expect is her plus one to the ceremony being Formula One driver, Max Verstappen. Not only is he the World Champion himself, but most importantly, Max is a known FC Barcelona fan. Talk about making friends with the enemy...
Warnings: I have very limited knowledge of football, so everything in this story is based on my quick research. If you're a fan, please don't come for me! Though any advice would be much appreciated, because I have more football requests in my inbox XD.
Author's Note: Hi Anon, thanks for the request! I have to say it was quite challenging for me at the start, because I don't know many things about football, but at the end it turned out fun and good. Hope you like what I did with this social media au! :)
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yourusername And it's a wrap!🥈⚽️ Thank you to the whole team for another amazing year, we fought hard and we will continue to fight for the Champions League title next year as 2023/24 runners-up. Hala Madrid!✨🇪🇸
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user1 Love the way you play!
realmadridfem Hala Madrid!💪🏆
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yourusername 💯
user2 💥💥💥
user3 Vamosssss
user4 GO GIRLLL🤩🤩🤩🤩
user5 you really deserved to win the finale, the referee was totally biased agains you!!!
user6 Yeah, even as a FC Barcelona fan I didn't think it was fair🙈
martagarcialopez19 amazing Y/N! 🫶
yourusername Thank youuu!💖
user7 wait does y/n know some people from motosport???
user8 No I think it's just girls supporting girls in sports dominated by men tbh ☺️
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user7 oh yeah that makes sense
user9 Buen trabajo que equipo tan bueno con todas y en lo personal muy guapa [Good job, what a great team with everyone and personally very pretty.]
marisabel_rguez The dream team 🙌
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yourusername Yessss
user10 HALA MADRID 🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍
user11 literally the prettiest soccer player I ever saw😻
user12 you mean FOOTBALL?!😂🧐
user11 sry i'm american so i'm used to saying soccer
user12 well that's WRONG girly😂
user13 Princess
messages between Y/N and Max



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yourusername Short stop back home in Monaco before flying to London for Women's Football Awards and my nomination for Player of the Year 🤞🌷
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user1 so pretty
maitetxuu_10 The nails Y/N 🤩
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yourusername Not better than yours though 😚
user2 i don't watch football but maybe i should start bc of you
user3 Wow you're such a cutie 😍❤️
charlottesiine great work out together!
yourusername Agreed! We should definetly hit the gym together more often 😂
user4 omg wait how do they know each other?? didn't expect y/n y/l/n to be friends with ex-wags??
user5 Idk but they both live in Monaco so it's easy to know basically everyone who's your age there xdd
yourusername True user5, they don't tell you how small the country actually is 😭
user6 SHE IS MY ROLE MODEL EVERYBODY
user7 👏👏👏👏🔥🔥
lucybrozne Seems like the Monaco sun suits you 😁��️
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yourusername Oh thanks Lucy! 🫶
lucybrozne 🫶
user8 i love that despite fcb beating madrid they're still friends outside of the field🥺
user9 WOW you should be a model
user10 So sad your talents aren’t being fully appreciated in Madrid.
user11 oh c'mmon she probably wouldn't play for them if she felt unappreciated 🙄
user12 but tbh I think she should be the captain.... like she's literally the best player of them all BY FAR
user13 Nah I don't like her. Hope she'll never be a captain🤮
user12 then go away? lol
user13 damnn the 3rd picture did some unholy things to me 😩
user14 right?! I don't think I'm straight anymore🫣
user15 I have no idea who she is but let me tell you she's gorgeous
user16 ✨✨✨👑🎀🌹
twitter



messages between Max and Christian Horner & Max and Carlos Sainz



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yourusername Turning him into Madridista duh.
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maxverstappen1 Y/N I love you... but that's never happening ❤️
yourusername Liar! You complained for a week straight about how that referee in the finals wasn't fair and we should have won agains Barcelona! 😘
carlossainz55 hahaaa mate she got you😂
maxverstappen1 😒
user1 OMGGG we converted him on our side!!!
user2 A sad day to be a FC Barcelona supporter and F1 fan😓
user3 A happy day for Madridistas!😍
user4 damn I may have to start watching football
martagarcialopez19 you're glowing! also thanks god now I don't have to keep the secret anymore xd
yourusername Love ya! 🫶
user5 The IT WAG
user6 can we take a moment to appreciate how cute maxie looks here?🥹
realmadridfem You go girl! Convert new fans!🤩💪
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user7 I'm still shocked by this whole thing 😹
user8 you're not the only one lol
user9 the second picture????
user10 Max is so lucky man🥵
marisabel_rquez ¡La pareja poderosa!😍 [The power couple!😍]
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user11 this post murdered me and dragged me all over slaycity with how much it served 🤭
user12 exactly! her and max are so hot and pretty
user13 🤍😍💯🥳 Hala Madrid!!!
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maxverstappen1 My girl ❤️⚽️
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THE END
Author's Note: Thank you for reading the whole thing! I'll appreciate likes, reblogs, follows and comments, or any other way of support. Let me know what you think about this pairing and please tell me if there are any football errors, because I have another request about footballer!reader waiting for me. Have a great day! :)
#f1 x reader#fanfiction#f1 fanfic#formula 1#fanfic#x reader#formula one#couple#f1 imagine#reading#max verstappen x reader#mv1#mv33#mv1 imagine#mv1 x reader#mv1 fic#max verstappen#writing#social media au#social media#social media fic#smau#f1 smau#f1 social media au#f1 fluff#football#womens football#aesthetic
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Intoxicating desire ft Baizhu + gn!reader
cw/tags: This one is more sensual/suggestive than straight up smut tbh. Reader has some experience while Baizhu doesn't and is guided along. Biting kink (reader giving) making out, slight dry humping I guess?? dirty talk if you squint?? idk what to tag
notes: Feeling a little odd/unsure about this one but a little someone inspired me to just post it ehhhh hope someone likes it. Guess it also counts as a lil revenge againts that someone hmmmm. Also yes I like to bite I want to bite him xdcgbhjnmkas. He'll be fine..... probably

“Just tell me if it’s too much” You smiled, warm yet mischievous.
Baizhu is panting already.
The two of you have barely done anything in all honestly, but just the fact of being here, now, with you. Doing this. It was enough to make all his thoughts scatter out of control.
You back a little but still nuzzle at his neck “Are you ok? Your breathing is harsh.”
Your voice is low, velvet, he can feel your breath ghosting at his skin and it makes him shiver. “…Y…Yeah” He manages.
“Should we stop?” There is concern in your tone and you scoot back a little from the spot sitting at the bed, avoiding contact as to not overwhelm him.
Instead, Baizhu pulls you closer eager for the grounding feeling he gets from you, slotting your hips together.
“No… it’s fine.”
Your cheeks warm up as you stare at his sharp golden eyes. One of his hands cups your face and your own arms surround his neck, though you take note of the fast pace of his heart “Are you sure? There’s no need to force it.”
Baizhu just nods, then pulls you in for a kiss. He really doesn’t feel up to talking. Right now, he wants to feel you as close as you can get.
You smile into the kiss and your hands start roaming, fumbling a little with his top. It’s intoxicating… these feelings.
You just want more.
Baizhu inhales sharply and his skin prickles with goosebumps as you slip your hands under his clothes, you lean in once more to kiss at his neck again.
“Ah… darling, what are you…?”
You bite down and Baizhu gasps.
You lap and suck at his neck softly, almost ticklish, threading your hands through his beautiful long green locks, and he shifts awkwardly. It feels so good. Once you’re done with that spot you move to another place down to his shoulder.
“Hng-” He’s desperately trying to stifle any sound wanting to escape from his mouth. Though that doesn’t stop the whimpers caught in his throat, reacting to his quickly heating cheeks.
“Holding back isn’t going to do you any good.” You suddenly mention, and he can almost picture your sly grin. “The whole point is for you to test out all these sensations.”
Baizhu’s glad you’re focused on his neck, he was sure he’d die if you saw his red face.
Both of your hands are at his bare torso now, they’re warm and incredibly soft making him shiver, until you lightly run your nails across his skin. A moan spills out of his mouth, low and needy, and he’s overwhelmingly embarrassed.
What kind of person gets so shamelessly turned on from just a touch like that? He feels stupid. Stupidly exposed. Stupidly turned on.
“Does it feel good?”
Don’t ask something like that!
He doesn’t answer and instead rests his forehead on your shoulder, panting softly. In response you bite again, lower on his collarbone and your right hand brushes down on his pants daringly. He gasps sharply in surprise, a burning heat settling in his stomach.
“Bai come on, tell me.” You mumble with a pout.
Oh, you’re not playing nice.
He nods, head buzzing with pleasure. “Nnng-... Hmmm” He can barely think straight. He just feels. Feels your hands teasing, your hair tickling his skin, your weight pressing on his body, your breath, your lips, his heart rattling, and he feels hot, so hot.
Suddenly his back presses against something soft yet firm: the bed covers. And he realizes he’s now lying on his back while you straddle his hips. Your mouth is hot and you whispers tiny things -he doesn't even know what anymore- while your lips work on his skin.
Baizhu's hands find their way onto your hips and they rest there while you kiss him. Right then you decide to bite yet again (you’re certainly keen on marking him aren’t you?) and his fingers dig on your sides.
You shiver in response and murmur in his ear, and he tries his best not to flinch. His skin is sensitive, his groin is sensitive and he doesn't think he can handle all this contact without exploding.
And then.
Then you grind your hips slowly and his breath catches.
He groans, deep and throaty, and involuntarily bucks into you, cock twitching in his pants.
"Sweet Archons" You hiss out. Clothes and all, you can feel him, and you want him so badly.
There is a pause, a moment of silence as both of you seem to catch your breaths and process what is happening. You look at the man lying under you, he's a totally new sight, so much different from the usual calm and collected Doctor of Liyue you know and love. Instead, his face is flushed, a sheen of sweat already forming, his eyebrows twitch slightly, golden viperine eyes staring right back at you and you can feel the lingering passion, excitement, lust.
For a moment you simply stare, as if analyzing him, peering deep into his being and committing this moment to memory, and it only makes him blush harder, his face getting way too hot. He finally averts his gaze in an attempt to calm down.
At that you blink back to reality, quickly pulling back and away from him -although reluctantly- giving him some space and rubbing at your arm awkwardly, biting your lip in apprehension. Did you just- That was- What was that? Did you go too far? Too fast?
“Um… w-woah” You babble. “Ah s-sorry! I promise I’ll take it slow...” ‘And control myself’ you add in your head, shoulders raising in embarrassment as you curled up and hide your face.
You shake your head, pushing that aside and turning to him.
“Baizhu...?”
The green-haired man lays still dazed and flustered, arm draped over his clearly red-hot face, still catching his breath, he gives a light cough an clears his throat “Hmmm you’re going to be the death of me, my dear...”
At that, of course, you promptly face-plant on a pillow.
#baizhu smut#baizhu x reader#baizhu x you#genshin smut#genshin impact smut#genshin x reader#genshin x you#genshin impact x reader#genshin imagines#genshin impact imagines#crys writes#gn reader#I feel like Baizhu comes off as too... hmmm.... submissive?? to my liking#I'm so sorry#he's just sensitive ok this is the first time he's overwhelmed shhh#xdfcvhnk why am I self-conscious about this lmao#I want to bite his tummy#he can bite me back s'okay#hehehehee
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HELL FUCKING YESSSSSSSS

hey if you wanna read all of my posts as i play through ISAT, they are all tagged as #Aluria plays ISAT for the first time (please don't spoil)
notes:
-aight i'm back yippee
-title theme my beloved
-i always find it so funny when an enemy tries to freeze Mira
-gonna try this boss again
-ok i think i'll just replay Floor 3 on this loop instead of looping forward after i find out another one of Bonnie's favorite foods so i can build up everybody's stats
-OH. BONNIE OVERHEARD THE DEATH CONVERSATION.
-heh Bonnie slapped Siffrin
-uh... the audio is REALLY ominous...
-oh, Bonnie...
-WAIT WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT DID I JUST LOOP SLIGHTLY BACK IN THE PAST?
-Siffrin you ok i don't think that was helping ur mental health issues your eye is covered in shadow in your dialogue portrait
-i will once again NOT kill Siffrin via anaphylaxis. i will take the fish head
-...i didn't. get info on Bonnie's favorite foods this time.
-ok according to the save screen that didn't count as a loop
-anyway time to try looping to get the Bonnie snack info
-hey... the Tear dialogue isn't as silly anymore (it just says yes or no without the 'looping time' or 'living time')
-hey i didn't skip any loops this time!
-time to kill this pair of assholes again
-"carry my ashes with you" aw that's a sweet dialogue option
-i am so tempted to kill Siffrin. but i won't.
-awwww... i talked to Bonnie and now Sif is comforting them
-ok how the fuck do i get the info. BONNIE PLS.
-hold up. does Siffrin no longer nod when zoning out? :((((
-WAIT FUCK DID I FORGET TO GET THE KEY ON FLOOR 2.
-...Mira's roommate. was learning to make bombs. why???
-lol Isa knows how to make a bomb
-Mira has anti-anxiety meds. this makes a lot of sense tbh
-...what are these papers for???
-so i decided to try using the silver coin since a person said that you can do something with it related to the croissant lore. and it said "you think about the Incident" or smth like that lol
-lol Sif forgot the term 'stuffed animal'
-idk why but it feels like a lot of Craft skills are like. slower. or have bigger cooldowns in Act 3. even tho i KNOW they don't and my brain is fucking with me
-ok the game accounted for the key thing
-in the bathroom again
-Sif is calming themself again and figuring out what to do
-Siffrin, self-loathing and calling yourself stupid won't help :(
-i zoned out at some minor dialogue but i don't remember what the dialogue was the first time so i am fucking clueless about what was going on with a choice i made. sorry Mira idk why i 'saved you' by smacking your mouth ;_;
-i love getting to obliterate weaker Rock enemies with Paper α V
-i have now gotten Sif to level 60
-sometimes it's nice to take a break and talk to Loop
-wait a sec. doesn't one of the lower floors have a sharpening stone?
-ok it's been a while and now i have everybody back to level 52. time to kick the asses of the 3rd floor boss
-ooo Odile got a new skill
-time for the last snack break!
-Bonnie's upset now because i didn't try the fritters D:
-time to face the King again... and hopefully talk to him
-welp. *that* didn't work
-oh nvm now i can ask him questions via the Craft menu!
-you. you can give the King the flower.
-yeah the characters have a point! why Vaugarde specifically?
-the King is NOT responsible but he says Siffrin has an odd smell. huh... the only other things where an odd smell has been noted is Bonnie saying the star crest Sadnesses smell odd... but if Sif had that smell then it would've been noticed sooner...
-dude. how rude to say that if Siffrin doesn't understand Time Craft they can't understand the King's methods. maybe i should read more on Time Craft in one of the libraries? or that one book on craftonomy...
-the "you have heard this before" for zoning out got more and more annoyed
-once again. what does the King need to say?
-hm i was talking to Odile and Bonnie piped in really excitedly that they have more pineapple in their pocket
-GOD FUCKING DAMMIT MIRABELLE I LOVE YOU BUT YOU STOPPED ISA'S CONFESSION ToT
-time to talk to Euphrasie and loop again ig
-hey what's that in her hair?
-"you inhale sharply, almost choking on the smell of burnt sugar around you" BURNT SUGAR BURNT SUGAR THAT'S THE SMELL OF TIME SHENANIGANS AS SEEN WITH THOSE SADNESSES

-SAY SOMETHING ELSE EUPHRASIE
-how do i get the familytale?
-ok i talked to Odile and i'm gonna help her!
-am i gonna have to go all over town for this?
lmao yeah i think i will
-oh hey the wizard-loving kid is named Manon
-oh my god. i have to go back to the boulanger
-FINALLY
-:O THERE IS NO RESEARCH???
-oh THAT'S why Odile is in Vaugarde
-oh... her mom left... all of her travels here have been to try to reconnect with that part of her...
-HEY SIFFRIN I AM ONCE AGAIN ASKING WHERE THE *FUCK* ARE YOU FROM?
-damn. bro has amnesia
-LMAO I ASKED MIRA ABOUT THE PAPERS AND THE BATTLE THEME STARTED
-...bonding proposals???
-oh my god Mira joined a dating website group
-"we have one of those at home"
-"oh, i don't have a type! i like all kinds of people equally!" is this in a bi way or an aro way
-YEAH AROMANTIC REPRESENTATION
-DIVERSITY WIN! THE KICKASS HANDMAIDEN WHO'S IMMUNE TO BEING FROZEN IN TIME AND THE SORT-OF CHOSEN ONE IS ARO!!! I FUCKING CALLED IT YEAHHHHHHHH :D
-oh, Mira :( you're not the problem you don't have to do anything like that you're not comfortable with
-hm this game is dealing with personal identity a lot
-:( :( :( oh, Mira...
-DIVERSITY WIN!!! THE SKETCHY WANDERER STUCK IN A TIME LOOP WITH MENTAL HEALTH PROBLEMS IS ACE!!!
-MY BLORBOS ARE ACE AND AROACE FUCK YEAH I AM SO HAPPY
-FUCK IT I'M POSTING NOW
SERIOUSLY THO I DON'T THINK I CAN ACCURATELY CONVEY HOW FUCKING HAPPY THIS PART IS MAKING ME. TWO OF MY FAVORITES ARE ACE AND AROACE HELL FUCKING YES
#homegrown post#in stars and time#in stars and time spoilers#Aluria plays ISAT for the first time (please don't spoil)
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I Wanna Be Yours - Joel Miller x f!reader
summary: You meet Joel at a bar and you're left wanting more of him.
wc: ~3.3k
tags/warnings: 18+ (MDNI)! no use of y/n, no outbreak!Joel, reader is younger than Joel however age is not specified (is of drinking age though), Joel is mid to late 30's, alcohol consumption, sexual thoughts (!!!), takes place at a bar in Texas, flirty!Joel, unwanted male attention (but also wanted attention...), idk there's not much tbh (if you feel like I should add something, please let me know) no beta we die like men
a/n: I didn't proofread as intensely as I normally do, but I'm trying to challenge myself to write & post more so here is the result. Also, I couldn't stop thinking about this concept, so I wrote it. Hope you all enjoy! (I also have an idea for a part two... if any of you are interested, let me know!)
if you are interesting in getting notifications when I post new works, follow @farmerlarrrylibrary and turn on notifications! :)
You haven’t seen your best friend in over a year since they moved to a small town in Texas. Between work and just life in general, it’s been hard to find a time when both your schedules just so happen to perfectly align. After a lot of planning and a four hour fight with a two hour layover, you’ve finally made it. Unfortunately, your stay will be short—you only have three nights and four days with them, but it’s better than not seeing them at all. Your best friend made sure to plan some fun filled days, and regardless of how tired you are from your long travel day, you don’t want to waste any of the time you have with them.
Tonight, the two of you are hitting the town. Your friend has been going on and on about this one bar in particular. The drinks are cheap, the crowds are wild, and the music is good. On top of that, you will also be meeting some of your friend's coworkers, who quickly turned into some of their closest friends. Although you were excited, a part of you felt nervous.
It’s been a while since you went out to any bars or clubs. When you were in college, you and your small group of friends were frequent nightlife goers, but once everyone started getting jobs and moving away, those wild nights became few and far between.
Butterflies began to form in your stomach as the two of you approached a building from a side alley. You could feel the vibration of the music run its course through your body before the bar came into view; usually, this was a sign that tonight was going to be a good night.
When the building came into view, it wasn’t exactly what you were anticipating. The dim entrance made your stomach churn, igniting a sense of danger in your mind. A large man stood to the side of the closed metal door, his arms crossed as he stared straight ahead with a grim, intimidating expression. It was definitely not like any of the clubs or bars back home, where everything was well lit and definitely not as secluded as this one is. Your body language must’ve been telling because your friend let out a loud chuckle, grabbing onto your wrist and pulling you closer to them.
“I already know what you’re thinking,” they say between their small giggles. You respond with a apprehensive look, causing them to become even more amused. A part of you felt like this was some sort of prank. “It doesn’t look like much, but I promise you, this is the place to go.”
You raise your eyebrows in suspicion. Your friend shakes their head in a joking manner, lacing their arm through yours and guiding you to the line that has begun to form.
Your friend spent most of the time in line on their phone trying to get a hold of their friends, who are supposed to be meeting the two of you there. One person wouldn’t pick up, so they’d call another person, only for the first person to call back. It was a mess, but in your eyes, it was an entertaining mess watching your friend struggle between the calls.
The two of you finally make it into the bar. Dim, red lights barely illuminate the large building, and you are immediately met with a humid heat and the smell of sweat and pure alcohol. Your nose twitches at the smell. The music, at least, is good; you can feel the thumping of the beat in your chest.
As you’re taking in the atmosphere, your friend grabs the back of your arm, pulling you in close to them and tilting their phone away from their mouth.
“I think I know where they are, I’m going to try and find them,” they shout into your ear, and you simply nod in response. Your eyes are locked onto the small, but crowded, dance floor straight ahead of you. “Why don’t you go get a drink at the bar? I’ll be right over, okay?”
They point in the direction of the bar, and you follow with your eyes. A drink will surely help with the nerves you’re feeling right now. Your stomach feels like a scrambled mess. Your friend quickly disappears in the opposite direction, still trying to reach someone on their phone.
You have to push your way through the crowd to make it over to the bar, situating yourself between two men. As you wait for the bartender to come over, you tap your fingers along the edge of the wooden top, looking around at the people surrounding you.
"Well, aren’t you a pretty lady?” The man to your right sneers at you, causing you to snap your head in his direction. You immediately notice his eyes are locked on your chest, not even trying to hide his obvious obsession with your cleavage. A feeling of insecurity comes over you as you begin to regret your outfit choice. Sure, you wanted attention, but not this level of creepy attention and definitely not from this man.
Not wanting to cause a scene, you just give the man an unauthentic smile, positioning your body away from him. You can feel him lean in behind you, and as he begins to say something, the bartender, a girl who barely even looks old enough to work at an establishment like this, promptly comes up to you from the other side of the bar. She gives a deathly glare to the man bothering you, causing him and his friends to leave.
“What can I get for you?” She says with a sweet smile.
“Tequila soda, please.” You rest your palms against the edge of the wooden top, leaning in toward her as you speak. “With an extra lime, too.”
She gives you an assuring nod, quickly turning on her heel to begin her work. As she’s walking away, your body is firmly slammed up against the bar top, the edge ramming into your ribs and knocking the wind out of you. Your body rocks back and forth as some sort of commotion unfolds behind you, with someone keeping your body pinned down and making it impossible for you to straighten upright.
Watch where the fuck you’re goin’.
Why don’t you watch your fucking mouth, old man.
Old ma– you wanna take this shit outside, you fuckin’ punk? Huh?
Your ribs get slammed against the edge again before you are finally set free, pushing yourself upright. You feel a hand glide along your lower back, making you turn your head from side to side, trying to see who is touching you.
“I’m so sorry ‘bout that, miss,” a faint voice says, obviously directed toward you. “Are you alright?”
You nod your head slowly as a tall and quite handsome man appears off to your side, making you turn around to see him fully. His dark hair is messily tousled on top of his head, a few half formed curls peek out from the nape of his neck. He is staring at you intensely with kind yet very obviously tired eyes. You can feel your mouth grow unbearably dry as you take his good looks in.
“Ye—yes,” you stumble on your words, continuing to marvel over the man before you. His eyes are wide as he darts all over you, bringing up his hand to gently move a strand of hair out of your face. He gives you a genuine, kind smile before letting his hand drop.
“People are...” He lets his voice trail off, sucking in some air through his teeth. He quickly looks around him. “I'm—”
Although he’s shouting, you don’t catch his name over all the noise, bringing your eyebrows together and turning your ear toward him.
“Joel,” he said louder, leaning in closer. You pull back, nod your head and shout your name back to him. His lips curl up into a charming smile. “That’s a beautiful name, miss.”
His compliment makes your heart flutter, and you drop your gaze down to your feet for a short moment before meeting with his eyes again. Joel nudges the man who was standing to your right out of the way so he can take his spot; your arms brush up against each other’s in the process, causing a chill to run up your arms. You slowly turn to face him, looking up at him with wide, innocent eyes. The bar light illuminates his face a bit better than before, he is absolutely beautiful.
“You from around here?” Joel asks and cocks his head slightly to one side, tilting himself a bit closer to you.
“No, just visiting a friend,” you respond, lifting yourself up ever so slightly on your tiptoes and angling your chest toward him. This is exactly the kind of man you want attention from. “You?”
His throat bobs, and his eyes quickly dart down and then back up to your eyes.
“I— I am from around here,” he says with a slight chuckle, which causes you to giggle alongside him. You can see a bead of sweat beginning to form alongside his temple.
Suddenly, his attention shifts away from you and he subtly points to behind the bar, causing you to turn your head. It’s the bartender from earlier, and she has your drink in hand with an apologetic smile showcased on her face. You were so wrapped up in the essence of Joel that you completely forgot you even ordered a drink.
“So sorry, we had some issues at the other end.” Her voice is high pitched and sweet sounding. “Do you want to pay or open a tab?”
As she slides your sweat clad glass across the bar toward you, Joel leans across you, closer to the girl on the other side. You can feel his hand find its way between your shoulder blades, running it up to the backside of your neck. A chill runs down your spine, causing a hitch in your breathing.
“Put it on my tab.” He shouted, and although he was just mere inches away from you, his voice still sounded so distant over the music and people talking.
The bartender raised her eyebrows and gave him a curt nod, quickly making eye contact with you and giving you a sly smile. Your heart fluttered at the gesture, even though a part of you knew this probably meant he wanted something in return. At this point, it was something you were definitely willing to give if he continued to play his cards right.
“Thanks,” you say quietly, not even sure if you spoke loud enough for him to hear you. As he pulls away, the two of you lock eyes, and you tuck your bottom lip between your teeth, trying to suppress your smile.
“A lady as pretty as you should never pay for her drinks,” he responded confidently. You could feel your cheeks fill with heat.
Joel is now peering down over you with dark eyes, his left forearm laying against the wooden bar to support his body, and his other hand still loosely wrapped around the side of your neck. Goosebumps spread across your skin as he slowly rubbed the pad of his thumb over your soft skin.
You look up at him with wide, innocent eyes. He has his lips slightly puckered as he traces his eyes along your skin. You watched as the muscles in his chest twitched. A burning sensation begins to burn deep inside your chest; you didn’t know how much longer you could take this. At this point, you didn’t want him, you needed him.
He let his hand glide down the side of your neck, over your shoulder, and then down your arm before retracting it, grabbing his glass of whiskey off of the table and taking a smooth, long drag. You continue to watch him with your swollen bottom lip tucked between your teeth, subtly bobbing your head along to the music.
“What do you do for work?” Joel’s voice has changed now, it’s much more lustful than before, and you can tell that he’s trying to hide his desire. His throat bobs as he swallows. You were glad you weren’t the only one feeling this way.
“I work in an office.” You try to steady your breathing, not wanting your words to come out shaky. “I’m an assistant to the company’s CFO.”
Joel’s eyebrows twitch as he nods, looking down at his drink and swirling it around a few times.
“That sounds—“ His voice is hesitant.
“Super fun,” you cut him off and say in a sarcastic tone. “It totally is.”
Joel breaks out into a wide smile. You’re positive he chuckled, but it’s hard to be certain over the noise. You look down at his hands and see some dirt clinging to his arm hair. Construction? Maybe a contractor?
“And what do you do?” You say, grabbing one of his wrists and running over the dirtied spot with your index finger. He quickly pulls back, rubbing off the dirt with his other hand. Pink spreads along his cheeks.
“Christ, that’s embarrassin’… seems to never come off no matter how much I clean m’self.” His tone is flustered as he continues to try and remove the stubborn dirt. “I’m a carpenter, though; I work alongside my brother.”
“Mhmm,” you hum, chewing slightly on the inner flesh of your cheek. “So… does that mean you’re good with your hands?”
You question him flirtatiously, looking back down towards his big hands. Your comment makes Joel choke on his drink, his cheeks growing an even brighter shade of pink now. Your eyes dart back up to his face, this time you don’t break your gaze away from him, watching as he tries to hide his smile from you.
“I— I guess you, you could say that,” Joel manages to get out, bringing his hand up to the back of his neck and rubbing the side.
His well fitted shirt strains against his bicep, causing you to become distracted by Joel’s physique again. He is well in shape, likely due to his line of work; he has toned arms, broad shoulders, and nice chest muscles that the fabric of the shirt clings to. Without much thought, you begin to run your eyes along his body, your eyes meeting with the sliver of skin just above his pant line that’s exposed. Your eyes wander even lower when Joel suddenly hooks his finger under your chin, a smirk planted on his face.
“You’re trouble.” He leans in close, only leaving a few inches between your faces. You look up at him through your brow line, the corners of your lips curling upward. You love where this is going, soon all of your desires will be met, and he will be all yours.
Just as your eyes flutter shut, Joel is yanked away from you. A man with dirty blonde hair has his hands around Joel’s shoulders and is shaking him back and forth. Joel is very clearly perturbed, his face twisting up in frustration.
“Joel,” the man drags out his name with a wide grin, clearly he’s had one too many drinks tonight. “I’ve been lookin’ everywhere for you… a couple guys from the job site are here ‘n wanna play pool. Whatdya think?”
Joel flashes you a quick smile before turning away from you and saying something to the man. Whatever he is saying appears to be causing conflicting emotions between the two of them. As they begin shooting back and forth, a feeling of insecurity quickly comes over you, causing you to turn your head away and look out into the crowd of people dancing.
As you take a small sip of your drink, Joel firmly places his hand on the small of your back, making your stomach jolt. You quickly turn your head back toward him. His mouth is near your ear, and you can feel his hot breath tickling your skin. The sensation causes heat to begin pooling in between your legs. You gulp.
“It was a pleasure talkin’ to you, darlin’,” his voice is smooth as honey and seductive. “I hope to see you around.”
Before you could think of anything to say back, Joel already had his back toward you, walking away accompanied by his friend. You’re stunned by his quick exit, your fingertips pooling with blood as you grip onto your drink glass. There’s no way I misread that entire situation, you think to yourself, left somewhat confused. Why would he leave like that?
The conversation was just as quick to end as it started, but it— he— left you wanting more. A sense of clarity came over you, a fire burning deep in your chest. You wanted more.
A voice inside your head echoed with “no, don’t leave” as you watched Joel disappear into the crowd. You could not move to make your deepest desires come true, and even if you could, did you really want to be the sex crazed person chasing after someone you had just met? As he fully disappeared, his scent lingered where he once stood—a faint smell of dirt, whiskey, and sweat. You thought it was strange that the combination was quite a turn on for you, but it was the indication of a hardworking man— and that was sexy to you.
All you could think about was how badly you wanted Joel. The way your body reacted every time he touched you was unlike anything any other person had been able to make you feel. The way his voice drew you in and his eyes hypnotized you. All you wanted at this moment was to see him bare, hovering over you while sweat dripped off of him and his face twisted with pleasure as he filled you up with his girth. You want to moan his name over and over as he explores your body, desperately wanting to know how his tongue would feel swirling around your swollen, throbbing clit that begged for his touch.
Closing your eyes, you bring yourself back to reality. You let go of the air that you had been holding in your lungs, your chest burning as it escapes. Being this attracted to someone was definitely not on your bingo card for this trip. Bringing your glass up to your lips, you steadily draw in the liquid, desperately trying to calm yourself down.
“Bitch,” the faint sound of your friend’s voice comes to you as a relief. They come up to your side, looping this arm around your waist. They have their eyes narrowed at you, a slight smirk appearing the longer the two of you look at each other.
“What?” You feel your eyebrows twitch.
“Who was that handsome fella you were just talking to?” They’re full blown smiling now, looking past you in the direction Joel went. You try to fight your smile, but ultimately fail. Your bestie begins to laugh, grabbing onto your arm and causing the heat to return to your cheeks.
“How long were you watching?” You suddenly feel shy, covering your face with one of your hands.
“Well, I wasn’t just going to come up and ruin whatever was going on… unlike that bastard that pulled him away from you.” They narrowed their eyes once again, obviously upset about what happened. “So, what’s his name?”
“His name’s Joel,” you say, leaning in closer to them.
“Oh,” their eyes widened. “And are we hoping we see Joel again tonight?”
You tuck your bottom lip between your teeth, dropping your eyes down to your glass as you run the moistened tip of your index finger around the rim of your glass.
“Yeah,” you nod, smiling to yourself. “I hope so.”
dividers are from @saradika | link
banners were made by me :)
#joel miller x reader#joel miller x f!reader#farmerlarrry#joel miller#joel miller fanfic#joel miller fic#joel miller x fem!reader#joel miller x female reader#joel miller x you#joel miller smut#joel miller fanfiction#joel miller one shot#no outbreak!joel miller#joel miller imagine#pedro pascal#the last of us#joel tlou#joel the last of us#pedro pascal fic#pedro pascal imagine#pedro pascal one shot
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SIEMPRE SE PUEDE PEDIR TRADUCCIÓN‼️‼️‼️
INTRODUCTION POST AND RULES 🔥🔥🦾🦾🦾🦈🦈

(Edit— 23/09/2024) I kinda got excited writing this ☠️
There’s like a worrying amount of text. I’m not sure everyone can gut how much I wrote 😭😭
But here are like the basics of my blog:
The name’s César or Diego. Call me whatever ya want, idc
I’m a Trans Guy, he/him exclusively.
☆ Artist — I mostly make jjba fanart (currently insane about it)
☆ Art requests are currently OPEN!!
When open: I draw anything except complex backgrounds, Steven universe fanart, danganronpa fanart and proship stuff. Suggestive requests go to @bayfuzzball7050-afterdark
☆ Writer (no fanfic here tho)
☆ if I use emojis, be aware that most of the time it’s ironic
☆ I make a lot of kys/kms jokes, if you’re not ok with this, please don’t follow
☆ i LOVE spammers, spam likes, reblogs, whatever as much as you like :3
☆ if ya wanna be mutuals just ask I don’t mind I’ll just check yo vibe and that’s it
Art tag: #my art
Post tag/reblogs where I add something: #☆ momazos diego
Quality posts tag (aka when I think): #chamber of reflection (reflexionando en la chamba)
Posting when I should be asleep tag: #trasnochadoposting
oc and au masterpost
brushes I use
☆ art summary 2024! ☆
BY THE WAY!!
��� I usually don’t add tw (tho I dont post stuff with heavy themes often if I’m honest like I rarely do it) But if anything, be wary
☆ I also always have my notifications off so please don’t feel bad if I don’t answer a dm or anything of the sort
☆ please excuse me if I reblog/like artists who are proshippers, I don’t tend to check blogs before interacting🧍🏽(I’ve gotten myself blocked many times because of this)
☆ also like if they problematic in general like idk if maybe someone I reblogged has been in a big ahh controversy or summ so uhhh forgive me
dni and fandoms im in below the cut
So, I think imma make(try) a dni list but ik it’s ultimately useless cuz like I can’t force ya and im not your dad plus I’m too lazy to look through every blog that reblogs or likes but uh blocklist ig???
It’s just basic dni tbh
SHIT THAT GETS YA BLOCKED ‼️‼️
(some of these are oddly specific)
☆ Basic dni, conservatives, proship, profic, to be more specific incest & minor x adult shippers, kodocons, SWERFS and radfems, Transmeds/Truscums/anti-MOGAI, Transid, Radqueers in general, NSFW agere blogs (SFW agere it’s cool I don’t mind), pro-contact, anti-recovery, harmful Paraphilics, Pro-ANA/Pro-MIA, and anti endogenic system mfs
☆ swifties.
Exceptions and specifics:
☆ I think Selfshippers / yumeshippers are cool plus they aren’t hurting anyone most of the time
☆ people tend to think that transid has therians in it and no, I think therians, kinnies and fictives are cool (dont get it but cool nonetheless)
☆ I do not care about the original meaning of proshipper or if I’m technically one, why? Simple, all of them tend to be people who think they’re oppressed for getting off to teens and incest
To be honest I don’t check the blogs of most people who reblog or like but- Ricky…Ricky when I catch you Ricky-
(I mostly notice when I get followed but uh- anyway 😻)
THIN ICE:
☆ dsmp fans
As much as I enjoy the Fanart and maybe the roleplay was interesting I have like personal beef with the fanbase and creators
☆ Helluva Boss/Hazbin Hotel/Viziepop supporters
I hate it a lot so if you don’t wanna see posts shitting on it maybe don’t follow
☆ Hannibal Fans
The franchise is fire but I also have beef with Hannibal fans cuz for some reason most of them proshippers
☆ MHA fans for the same reason as Hannibal fans
☆ Same with South Park
☆ Same goes for Homestuck fans
☆ Same goes for Steven Universe fans. It’s mid btw
☆ ONE PIECE fans, y’all didn’t do anything wrong it’s just that I haven’t caught up with the show 😭😭
☆ NSFW blogs (as in porn/smut)
ANYWAY
Languages I speak:
☆ Spanish (mother language)
☆ English
☆ A tiny bit of Italian
FANDOMS IM IN (but I forget sometimes 😿)
☆ JJBA (what I post about mostly (going insane over this))
☆ Yakuza (slowly going insane)
☆ Brawl Stars
☆ WEIRD AL YANKOVIC
☆ LOST MEDIA. (Believe it or not, im also going insane over this.)
☆ Berserk
☆ The Eltingville Club
☆ Mouthwashing
☆ Madoka Magica
☆ ikigusare (best virtual girl band ever fr fr)
☆ Gorillaz
☆ Saiki K
☆ Good Omens
☆ Moral Orel
☆ Dorohedoro
☆ My Little Pony
☆ Sonic fandom
☆ Undertale / Deltarune
☆ Breaking Bad / Better Call Saul
☆ El Cuarteto De Nos
☆ Azumanga Dioh!
☆ Vocaloid
☆ Project Sekai
☆ D4DJ
☆ Food Fantasy
☆ FNAF (grrrr I love fnaf,,)
☆ Emo / Scene / Scemo (I just don’t have money for clothes nor the patience to make a blog only for that 😭😭)
☆ actually like another shit ton more but I can’t remember 😔
Socials:
☆ Reddit u/BayFuzzball7050 (old account, permanently banned)
☆ Reddit u/BayFuzzball404 (Current Account)
☆ ofc Tumblr
☆ Wattpad and AO3 but we ain’t talking about that 🤫🧏♂️
☆ @bayfuzzball7050-art is my art blog (reblogs from here)
☆ @bayfuzzball7050-afterdark is my mature (straight up porn) art blog
☆ I HAVE AN ARTFIGHT!
☆ Pixiv
☆ Bluesky
☆ Bluesky but it’s just porn
Dis me btw
#I love these gifs so much#intro post#introduction#bleehhh#proshitters dni#jjba#dorohedoro#mlp#el cuarteto de nos#vocaloid#project sekai#sonic fandom#undertale#d4dj#fnaf#emo#scene#scemo#madoka magica#ikigusare#yakuza
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hello i was tagged by @18minutemajor for WIP Wednesday. it is not Wednesday but i am also not a cop so . here we gooo!!!!!!! tagging my esteemed colleagues (very politely and with no pressure!!!):
@neonfretra @oensible @sorrellegiance @moregraceful @stereax
@wheelsnipecelebrini
@korshrimpski (EDIT: it won’t?? let me tag you. unless these are on separate lines <3)
what's in-progress in your life <3 writing? art? recipe? skill acquisition?
if any crafty people see this - if ANYONE sees this - and would like to join in, feel free and consider yourself tagged <3 (and tag me back so i can see your stuff!!!) link to 18minutemajor's post if yall curious :3 my VERY long wip dump + ramblings under the cut!
its christmas soon and i like to paint gifts for my friends + and i'm finally revisiting my anime/lineart/inking era (here you are K!! my lineart past, present, and future!! <3) so here are some things i've been working on/coming back to/MAY NEVER FINISH: hockey related:
this is juraj slafkovsky and his dinky little middle part which he can absolutely learn to style into something a little less dinky but never does. i am so charmed by him. i imagine he just rocks it because his pretty privilege supersedes dinky middle parts . LMAO!!

here is Sasuke from my Naruto Hockey AU. I am a little stuck on jersey mockups lol. here he is. our haunted little 1OA who is absolutely normal and regular about his captain (LOUD incorrect buzzer):

personal oc art
wanna know some puckpocketed deep lore? i've never been one to make OCs. i was just not a very creative kid tbh. spent all my time drawing sailor moon instead. i still go back to her sometimes because she is one of my favourite shapes in the WORLD!!
in my 20s i took up playing d&d because of the. uh. plague. <3 and got pretty close to having OCs!! those count right? anyway. here is my tavern-wench-turned-wizard!!! i think i painted this 2 years ago? <- put dates on your works guys it saves lives. her name is Mel (short for Melins (pronounced like melons. on account of her knockers. can you tell i never grew out of my 12 yr old booby/cock joke era?) i revisited Mel recently and have started painting her in earnest again!! :3

I briefly dated someone who was very into streetwear and fashion, and I fell down a techwear/gorpcore/cyberpunk rabbit hole for a couple days out of curiosity. i remember literally zero salient info on any of it except the broad strokes of silhouetting and Vibes. what i emerged with, however, was a ?? sorta OC?? im not sure what to call them. they dont rly have a name or gender. I did this little sheet ages ago + the aborted attempt at a portrait later:


Here are my most recent explorations (i have been doing SOOOO much art. <3) which include:
unfinished character sheet + chibi art. I played with their jacket (much more structured/square/tailored thing) and added a lotta random buckles and belts. i took textiles class years ago and have a little experience in garment construction. and i know for a fact this thing does not make any sense. it hurts me to look at a little bit LMAO so i've paused it while i go draft patterns (badly. i was never good at drafting. i think i may have to break out my scrap fabric stash and hand sew a real life mock-up. HELP!)

here is me having fun with them and imagining them as some kind of cyber-fisherman. the best part of every game is the fishing mini-game to me. i love fishing mini-games so much. I made their hair really big because i wanted them to have big unwieldy hair and the vibes told me i should add more movement to the piece aside from the fishing line. I messed with their jacket AGAIN because i can't stop thinking about what kinda jacket they'd wear. gorp-core ? idk. it sure is something!

gifts for my friends :3
back in my weeb era for real YAYYYY!!! up til now i'd been making hockey art using a zero pressure sensitivity pen brush because i simply did NOT want to deal with that. it is and has always been a barrier to me making art that uses line art. <3 easing my way back into it though!
I used to paint gifts for my friends and then get them printed into lil posters and mount them on nice backing :3 i am now ready and back to painting.
Here is my girlbestie's OC. just a rough pose sketch. i think im pretty unsatisfied with the gesture of the head/hand. i wanted to include her gun in some way. i fear i may have to rework the pose entirely <3

For the genshin girlies.. here are some of my friends fave characters.
Yelan - this one i started many holidays ago and put on the backburner because the colouring was wigging me out. you can see where i started rendering stuff + got sidetracked and started on something else (the crystal choker IM LAUGHING @ past me...)

Ayaka - I reaaally like what i did here with the perspective + foreshortening. I don't know if the pose or expression is in-character or not, but i had fun :3 got stunlocked looking at references of genshin weapons so this is where i left off:

if you made it all the way down here hi... <3 ice hockey really cracked the ketchup bottle open for me when it comes to making art again. i love the communities i've found, and i'm inspired by every artist on here every day. thanks for being so cool + have a great day :)
#hiiii... late with starbucks (gigantic wip dump now i feel good about sharing again)#puckpainting#tag game#eye contact#the . the tag thingy for half of these aint working HELP <3
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Get to know your mutuals: tag game
Omg thanks for tagging me @vuesfluides & @thisonesatellite (TWO people tagging me in this?? I feel so special 🥺💖) BOTH of you said you love uninterrupted alone time btw, you are my kind of people for sure 🥹✨️
Answering questions is one of my favorite activities so let's go lesbians!!!!!!! 🏃♀️🏃♀️🏃♀️
What's the origin of your blog title: I used to have a bad habit of deleting my tumblr blog every few years and could also never settle on a name when I made a new account; 'solidarity' (plus a couple letters lol) is the best name I've landed on since then that doesn't make me feel unbearably antsy and like I want to change it (it's solid! It's right there in the name! 😂); it implies an ongoing commitment to myself and others and I really like that :) (vuesfluides did you notice we basically have opposite reasons for our blog names?? Yours about change and mine kind of about staying the same?? Because I did and omg I love it 😄)
OTPs + Shipname: Stuckyyyy 😫💓 (well. I say Stucky. But I am *very* open to the entire Polycule, aka Nat Bucky Sam Steve and maybe/sometimes Clint. And you could convince to include more. I'm listening!!! 👀)
Favorite Color: I am such a rainbow person idk if I can choose. All of the colors forever 😎❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🩷
Favorite game: Can I say this one? 🙂
Song stuck in your head: TRUST! by Rebecca Black ("...Make me feel like I'm a man! [TRUST!] Ooh la la; got me goin' like Gaga Ga 🙄")
Weirdest habit/trait: Just one?? 😬😂😫🫠 uhhhhh well. I pop all the time. Like if the letter P was a word all by itself? The objective is generally to make it sound as loud as possible. If you met me in real life, within a week of knowing me you would probably start doing it back to me like we are having some kind of conversation via Weird Noises. Everyone I know eventually does it back and it Delights Me 😂
Hobbies: my #1 hobby is definitely reading fanfiction 😆. I'm a pole dancer as well, and I draw/paint. I would love to start doing more fanart. I'm currently trying to revive my writing via Stucky fanfic...it's going kinda rough atm but we'll get there!
Something you're good at: cleaning! I love to clean and organize things when I'm in the mood.
Something you're bad at: doing math in my head.
Something you love: Laughing 😂 and most things I post about here on tumblr really
Something you could talk about for hours off the cuff: Writing. Good writing, bad writing, what makes a story interesting to me, breakdowns of different stories I've watched or read and what I liked or didn't like or how they could have been slightly better...
Something you hate: Abuse of power 😡 But for something more lighthearted, I really, really REALLY don't like velvet. If you're wearing velvet, do not come near me 😫😭 and NEVER hand me a peach, it feels the same to me 😅
Something you collect: Crystals! 💎✨️
Something you forget: I used to have the world map memorized along with all the capital cities and uhhh what a power move I should really rememorize that, it was such a confidence boost
Favorite movie / show: The Lord of the Rings because I am so so basic 😄 but nah for real the message of it is so......there's some good in this world, Mr. Frodo. And it's worth fighting for.
Favorite food: much like colors, idk if I can pick one. You ever had homemade greek salad with freshly cracked black pepper and hand squeezed lemon juice?? Boba tea. Pad thai?? What about cheesy sourdough bread 😫🙌 I made a green smoothie last week that felt like it healed me from the inside out. How does one choose???
Favorite animal: ohhh I can't choose that either. They are all my babies 🥹💓 that bird out the window? My baby. Feral alleycat? I gave birth to that thing. The local racoon? My firstborn son!!
What were you like as a child? My best self tbh. I was super sweet and SUPER creative. I loved everybody like it was the easiest thing in the world. I was an annoying little shit though too; used to steal peoples glasses and watches and pinch people for sport 🤣
If you could change any detail about your life right now, what would it be: I desparately wish I had like...a group of wise elders I could go to for my problems. Not a therapist. A group of wise old people who Get Me and we Vibe and have Shared Interests to bridge the gap and give us an excuse to casually hang out and talk about life and get to know each other. I think also just more irl community in general would be awesome.
If you could travel in time, who would you like to meet: Oh, I would go WAY back in time to some ancient civilization like Mesopotamia or something and just take it in, whoever I met. I'm certain it would be FASCINATING regardless of who I ran into there! (thisonesatellite I wrote that before reading yours btw....maybe we could go to Ancient Mesopotamia together & bring back some really cool rocks??? Hmu if you ever find a time machine 🙌)
@thisonesatellite I was gonna tag you in this but you got me first 😆 gonna taaag @rumade @thisstormbringsstrangeloyalties @pixelrewind @rogueemmy @frostedthoughts @wholenessblooming @sweetferns and @bellewhistle
@fenrir-chained Here's the tag game I mentioned! Feel free to ignore it but I would love to see your answers if you dooo! 🤗💫💖
If you don't want to do it, no pressure! But I'd love to hear your answers if you do! :)
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Hello! I was wondering if you've ever posted about the Robin Hel resplendents? I couldn't find it and I'm curious about your take. I love your analyses.
Hmm... I definitely HAVE, because I have interpretations lol, but mmmm my tags are so inconsistent asdfghjkl so sorry to everyone who's ever tried to find anything on my blog (not to mention, tbh, I'm not sure I didn't exclusively post about this on Twitter...). So... let's just do a full writeup right now, shall we?
Basically, uh... Hel M!Robin is "covert Grima" but Hel F!Robin is just wearing edgy clothes.
So the thing is, M!Robin got his resplendent pretty early on, back in 2020. Now, I'm not going to break into a full analysis here because it's a tangential point, but I would argue that FEH's treatment of Robin/Grima/Robin-as-Grima has actually changed over time, with them shifting from "this is literally just Robin gone wrong" to a more... (I can't pretend to be unbiased about this; you KNOW how I feel about Grima = Robin)... genericized "evil entity snatched the body" take (which I can't help but feel is a result of the developers no longer having Awakening fans on staff. I mean look at Rearmed Grima's Forging Bonds. They just straight up forgot that it's a plot-important detail that Lucina doesn't know Robin is Grima. Or look at the Forging Bonds for either of the Brave Robins. The entire premise is flawed because Chrom only takes the title of Exalt postgame, meaning that for Robin to be advisor to the EXALT they must have already defeated Grima and regardless of ending they should NOT be worried about being taken over by Grima.) Anyway, I digress, but the point is that back in 2020 they were still hitting hard on Grima being a Fallen Robin. We hadn't gotten Halloween F!Grima yet and frankly I'm not sure anyone thought that a fallen alt could get alts or resplendents of their own, so... I sort of suspect that's why they wanted to bring in elements of Grima to Hel Robin.
And here's what's really interesting... Hel Robin is the ONLY Hel Resplendent that is implied to ACTUALLY be dead. It's... subtle. "These are the raiments of Hel, the realm of the dead. Don't read too much into that." is... a little bit suspiciously specific in its denial, isn't it? Like, saying NOT to read too much into it is basically an invitation to start scrutinizing it asdfghjkl. And then you have "I may look a little scary, but I'm still the same Robin underneath. Have no fear." And just WHY do you feel the need to assure us of this, Robin? Nobody thinks the Resplendent alts are changing personalities...
But maybe it's because, idk, his eyes get a little redder in his special art?
Again, it's SUBTLE. And if you only look at the special art, you could easily say it's just brown. But, then... why make this change berween normal attack and special? Robin has certainly been portrayed with inconsistent eye colors before, but not in the SAME alt.
And then let's actually look at his special activation lines...
UM... What's that one in the middle there??? "Accept your fate!" ???
Does that not cinch the deal? Do we not know enough about Robin to be able to conclude definitively WHICH Robin would say THAT (and which Robin would reject that kind of thinking outright)?
(I think "Death can be a mercy!" is also very consistent with Grima's worldview and their belief in their power of destruction as "the one true equalizer")
And if all of that wasn't enough, there's also his page on the FEH Pass website, which includes a short introduction written in-character by Sharena. M!Robin's says
Robin's wearing attire from Hel, the realm of the dead! Ohhh, I hope he's OK... Even if he's not feeling like his normal self, this new outfit keeps the black-and-purple theme from his classic look and adds some spooky flair with new patterns and a stylishly frayed hem!
So yeah, Sharena is worried about him and thinks he isn't feeling like his "normal self." Again, M!Robin is the ONLY Hel Resplendent who has any indication of a personality change coming with the clothes. Resplendent F!Robin, despite sharing the outfit's design, doesn't share ANY of the "covert Grima" features. Not the lines, not Sharena's concern, and absolutely not the changing eye color. Honestly, it was a little disappointing to me, because the little details with m!Robin are just so brainrot-worthy, but idk, F!Robin got the better glowup art-wise (seriously, her Respledent is some of my favorite Robin art out there) and when you think about it, it IS extremely funny to imagine the two of them interacting while M!Robin has to keep pretending he's not the one who went back in time and got his ass kicked.
Because I mean... that's sort of the obvious inference, isn't it? That he's Original Timeline Robin who became the fell dragon, followed Lucina back in time, and was killed by Good Timeline Robin. Lol I really wish more fanfic authors would take this alt and run with it, because is that concept not just totally ripe with potential?
Anyway, thank you for coming my TED Talk today. I will tag it as Grima Studies this time and add it to my masterpost for any of you who might like to one day find it again asdfghjkl.
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i love love your venture bros posts. youre really attentive to the vibes
a character dynamic i think was underexplored but had potential was billy and gary. what do you make of it?
Omg thank you so so much!! I’m really glad you think so! my post are mostly me spitballing hoping I’m getting the vibes right!
I actually made a post about this here! I should tag my posts tbh but I always got more thoughts I just think that post is a better summary of my thoughts. But here’s some more it’s VERY long:
They agree on most things except for the core idea of their livelihood. Which is wild because out of many characters I think Billy and Gary get along VERY well. They speak the same language and love the “game”. (I call it a game but the entire cape business) I don’t think they agree though on everything outside of nerd stuff.
I have this thought in my head maybe it’s a scale or a graph or something but it’s basically Believers, Nonbelievers, middlemen when it comes to this hero stuff and Gary and Billy are definitely Believers. But I think after Gary whole journey as a henchman, now a second/arch himself I think the idea of what makes something “Heroic” very firm in scale for him vs Billy who’s still sorta new at the whole thing but flexible.
I hope this makes sense but despite appearances Gary is rigid and Billy is flexible. I think while the morpho arc was sick (def loved the entire plot unfolding) Gary definitely had a hard time being on a grey area. He is either a hero (Sphinx!) or an arch. He feels haunted by killing all his fellow arches. He’s loyal af but doesn’t like the middle ground (his relationship with shelia, being a hit man, even 21 death you can say)
Billy is “flexible” in that sense that good is no small or big act. I’m forgetting the episode but the one where they fight Cloud over the ball, Monstroso surgery, especially Pete White as a person. Billy like superman genuinely would do good, it’s an oath it doesn’t matter to who he would. That comic run where Lex Luther is dying and gets superman to help him find a cure is VERY Billy. To Billy he is so firm to that one thing (two technically, hippocratic oath?whatever ykwim) it makes him apply it to literally everyone regardless of where he is. While Gary is very set on the us vs them side, that’s why he made such a good henchman leader.
I think when they interact it’s that trope of people in a mineshaft on their carts having a great time then an abrupt turn separating them, then they meet up again. Which I think deeply defines both characters despite being incredibly similar.
If I was summoned to a universe where I was told by Doc and Jackson that I could write a VB season but only when Billy and Gary interact aside from writing a Bromance for the ages that would get avid 21/24 fans mad at me (I think Gary and Billy would become like really REALLY into each other big “oh wow how come we never hanged out before?” “Idk!” Vibes) i would like to write them fighting a little because I think their small disagreements would be very telling about who they are as characters because they are the most genuine fan part of either side.
Gary is for every person who LOVES a hater ass villain (I cheered when green goblin killed aunt May in NWH I think Gary would, but still have issues with NWH ik I did anyways!) and Billy is for someone who LOVES a good wins no matter what (voltron, power rangers, he-man etc)
To me it’s not how Billy and Gary agree that’s interesting (big 2 nerds just in a mind meld moment, they’re also too similar ik why they were written to NEVER interact now, too alike) it’s when they don’t that is fun and I think it would happen the most at their dnd nights and when they watch shows together. Which pisses off everyone else (Malcom, shelia, white) bc they can’t hear anything as an argument is happening.
Also Billy wins most of the trivia stuff they do because he’s a bit older than Gary, this is Billy rodeo. I think Gary having someone as a friend who gets him is good for him honestly, he’s a third? Sorta? To his bosses/not boss anymore and I think he needs friends that he can really nerd out with.
Other fun things they do:
Hang out at each other places so often others remember the dates they see each other due to arching schedules
Follow each other blogs/have a podcast (movies, tv, and shows of influence throughout the ages guest star Pete white is on for music. Malcom calls in also surprisingly about music) either in podcast format or blog format doesn’t matter which but they work on it together
Have a show they follow together/watch together
Try to get Dean and Hank into stuff not intentionally their energy is infectious
ESPN announcers when on the field (when it’s not about them they’re doing commentary on the arch/protag tactics or at least commentary about Rusty and Malcom)
Wave/greet each other when they aren’t “on” in an arch or enjoy it too much when they’re “on”
Small acts of arching did happen between them. Cloud felt cheated on, Pete got freaked out, Billy and Gary settled on being friends instead. Malcolm thought it was Billy flirting with Gary, (confused but that’s his boy! Who wouldn’t flirt with Gary!) and Rusty thought Billy was going through a rough patch with White again but this time he really lost Billy (Awkward 1on1 where Rusty talks about cherishing and appreciating people while White gets so freaked out he runs to Billy)
They had a vibe, I feel like they would’ve hooked up or something once maybe bc I’m gay but I want to believe that. But in general they got a vibe together!
That’s all I got for now, if you read all this again thank you for your ask and I’m gonna tag all my VB thoughts once I think of a good tag!
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